All cooks talk to the food. All of them. If there is a cook reading this thinking " I don't talk to food" stop it, you talk to the food. Sixty five percent of the time it doesn't come out in words but thoughts. Regardless the idea of a conversation with an inanimate object is there.
For the most part it's just like talking to a five year old or a family pet. Lots of encouragement and gentle coaxing.
" Come on now egg, no yolk breaking, nooo yolk breaking.... good job"
This often turns into less gentle coaxing and more demanding
" NO BREAKING!"
But when things don't go the way they were supposed to the conversation quickly takes a turn.
" You whore!"
And when everything else has failed and the whole thing goes to shit things start to get personal.
" YOU MOTHER FUCKER I CANT BELIEVE THAT JUST FUCKIN HAPPENED. I HATE YOU ... YOU'RE STUPID"
And the food just sits there taking it the whole time................. what a whore.
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